100 SSSS-fics: Fields of Green
by Windfighter
Summary: Mikkel has a secret. A secret that would get him locked up if anyone knew about it.
My 5th story for the challenge, this time with the prompt "Seeking Solace". Well, that totally seem like something Mikkel need after handling the crew for so long, doesn't it?

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Mikkel had a secret.

Well, Mikkel had many secrets, but most of them were known by at least one other person. Mostly by his mother or his siblings. A few by the friends he had found in the army.

Okay, Mikkel had secrets. But he had one secret he held closer to his heart than any of the others. He hadn't told anyone about it.

When Mikkel was stressed or felt pressure, he resorted to blatant sarcasm. Everyone knew that. His sarcasm wasn't very well liked by people in charge. Mikkel knew that. He couldn't help it. It was his defence. But there were times when blatant sarcasm wasn't enough to relieve some of the pressure.

With their Captain sick and out of commission and everyone else looking to him, _to him_ , for leadership, this was one of those times. He had lost count of the times he had to bite his tongue and remind himself that _he_ was the leader now. He wasn't the captain, but he was second in command. That meant when the Captain was out, he had to pull the strings.

He had wanted this. For all his life he had wanted this. He had always known that he had a better idea than the people in charge about how to lead and what to do, and if they would only _listen_ to him everything would work out well.

This was what he had wanted. And now he regretted it. The three younger crewmates and the civilian were worried, and rightly so with their captain Sigrun Eide running a high fever and floating somewhere between consciousness and uncounsciousness. Mikkel had to be their pillar now, their security, the one they could look to for guidance.

Problem was, he didn't have anyone to look to now. He had never understood how much he needed it until this time. So, Mikkel retreated to his secret.

After giving the others orders, telling them what needed to be done and how to do it Mikkel closed himself in with their captain. The others would have protested, he knew that, but luckily he could tell them she needed to be looked after and as their medic it was his duty. Mikkel settled down on the floor where his mattress usually laid, looked at the sleeping form of their leader. She was dreaming, he saw her moving around. Maybe she dreamt about battling trolls in Norway, maybe about her last encounter with Krakentroll. He didn't know.

Mikkel closed his eyes, took a few deep breath. Tensed up, then relaxed. Let his mind wander. There, he could see the field infront of him. He walked towards to, stopped in the middle of it. Cows where grazing around him, and he settled down, watched the cows grazing and the clouds sweep over the sky above him.

This was his secret. He could gather new energy here. A small calf came up to him and he petted it, played around with it. This was home, this was his farm.

If anyone were to know about it he didn't doubt that they'd lock him into the madhouse. So he held it secret. The calf licked his face, then ran away again and Mikkel followed it with his eyes. It jumped around in the grass, stopped by one of the other cows. Mikkel stayed in his place, felt the grass beneath his fingers. It all felt so real. That's how he knew he was crazy.

"Oi!"

Mikkel barely heard the call. It wasn't time to go back yet, he needed more energy, more calmness.

"Oi!"

The field faded from his inner mind and he slowly opened his eyes, looked at the captain. She smiled at him.

"You sleeping there?"

"No..."

He wasn't quite back yet, but Sigrun's smile crooked a little.

"I swear I could hear you snoring."

"Must have been your own."

He stretched, got up. Put a hand on his captain's forehead. Still feverish, but not as bad as the first day.

"You should get some more rest."

"Yeah, yeah."

She settled up, disobeying his orders. He didn't really know what to do.

"Medic's order. Rest up before you get yourself killed."

"This is nothing, you should have seen..."

Mikkel glared at her as she started coughing and gently pushed her back down. She gently pushed him back. A battle of authority. She might be the captain, but he was their _doctor_ and when it came to health _he_ was in charge.

"Sigrun, if you are not going to rest as I tell you to, I will call the base and tell them that you are unfit to lead the expedition any longer."

She looked at him, he looked back. Both of them tried to stare the other down, both of them failing. There was knock on the door, but Mikkel ignored it, Sigrun ignored it. They had something more important to tend to here.

After a few minutes Sigrun looked away. Mikkel won this round. He put the blanket back around her, she pushed it off again and he let her have that victory, knowing it would give some solace to her mind, just as his secret gave him.

He got back out, after getting this brief break he was ready to handle the crew again, he was certain of it.

He wasn't really ready for there to be water and burnt paper all over the hallway.

He looked at Emil, then looked at Tuuri, then decided that he didn't want to know. Instead he let out a sigh.

"Let's clean this up, shall we?"

Everyone dreamed. Mikkel could dream even when he was awake. That was his secret. A secret he guarded with his life.


End file.
